A Pain Free Day for Change

Buddha taught that life is dukkah, roughly translated, dukkah means suffering or pain. I have to agree. For me everyday involves some form of pain, whether it be physical, mental or emotional. I'm not looking for sympathy here, just stating my facts. I was in a car accident when I was 19 that has left me with a lifetime of back pain, I have ankle injuries that are from long term sporting related damage, mentally I struggle with anxiety and emotionally I have bouts of depression.

I have tried medication in the past, but rarely find anything that I can use long term that doesn't have worse side effects, than the original condition. These days I take Vitamin D for my depression and try to breathe through my other conditions. On the odd occasion I have a day like today, where I can't breathe through the back pain - this being the pain that is a constant in my life -  relative to it's intensity. So I took a pain killer today and within half an hour I could feel it doing it's magic, it is such a relief,  I understand how easily one could become addicted to them - to have a day without pain every day, would be bliss.

Should I live without pain everyday? I have started to appreciate my pain because it allows me to truly enjoy the joy of no pain. My pain is not unbearable most days and it helps me appreciate the struggles of others who's pain IS unbearable, it allows me compassion and empathy. Pain is relative, for each of us has our own pain threshold and no one can tell you their pain is worse than yours because until you have experienced the worst pain in your life you do not know what is unbearable for you. It is this that allows me to find strength in myself. When the pain seems more than I can bare I remind myself I haven't yet experienced my worst pain so this pain, in time, will subside.

I try to avoid medicating myself for my daily pain, because I know, one day there will be a pain I cannot bare and I want to know that day, the medication will provide me with relief. I know I seem cranky some days and I try not to take it out on others but I am a passionate person and I always speak from my heart, sometimes others read this as me being arrogant but my intentions are always true. I know sometimes the pain I feel comes through my words but they are not meant to inflict pain on you, but merely to reflect the passion I feel. I enjoy debating and if I am wrong I have no trouble admitting it. Without debate, without pain, we never feel change or feel the joy that can come from relief.