When I was 10 I wanted to be a Vet, to work with animals. "Being happy" wasn't a life goal - it was how you felt most days. As an adult I suffer from anxiety and depression but my happiest times are those I spend with my animals. They have no expectations of me, other than to love them and feed them. So at 10, when I said, "I want to work with animals when I grow up", I guess I was saying I want to be happy and already knew then what made me happy.
I have a few friends who are personal trainers, that try to convince me that exercise will make me happy. Personally I think it is bullshit, because when I go looking for a sports bra, they don't make them in my size. This makes me miserable to start with - how am I meant to bounce around without hurting myself? Then I get the - just go for a walk - after 10 mins I am puffing, my back hurts and I have chaff between my thighs. How is this meant to make me happy? I then get home sore, tired and miserable and have another binge feed - maybe a drive to McDonalds for a "Happy Meal" will help?
I'm not trying to be morbid and really do like some people but most just piss me off for their sheer idiocy and lack of respect for others and the planet we live on. I get angry about complacency and then exhibit so much myself, because what is the point of being a drop in the ocean when you live in a desert?
That is my food for thought for today, I'm going to go cook up some sugar and carbohydrates, lie down with my animals and watch a documentary on iView. Hope you are happy and if you have any idea's feel free to share.
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